April 01, 2025
Ask AI: Write a Payroll April Fools’ Day Story
In honor of our founder and forever captain, we bring you the following story from ChatGPT. These events are NOT based on any real life events at MM...
Payroll Pandemonium: The April Fools’ Day Debacle
It was a typical morning at Miller Management Accounting—until it wasn’t. The payroll department, known for its meticulous accuracy, had just processed the week’s payroll when an email popped up from the CEO:
“Exciting news! In honor of April Fools’ Day, we’re implementing a revolutionary new payroll system: PAY-RNG (Payroll-Random-Number-Generator). Instead of boring, predictable salaries, employees will now receive a paycheck amount determined by our highly sophisticated AI-powered spinning wheel. Let’s embrace innovation! Checks will be sent out by 5 PM. Good luck!”
The payroll team stared in horror.
“Is this real?” gasped Jennifer, the payroll manager, gripping her calculator like a security blanket.
“This has to be a joke,” muttered Courtney, scrolling frantically through Teams for confirmation. “Right?”
But as emails poured in—some employees laughing, others demanding immediate explanations—the team’s panic reached new heights.
“Guys,” whispered Ashley, eyes wide, “IT just confirmed the direct deposits went through this morning… but they won’t tell me the amounts.”
Courtney paled. “What do you mean they won’t tell you the amounts?”
Ashley swallowed. “They said… ‘Happy April Fools’ and good luck.'”
Chaos erupted. Employees flooded the payroll inbox with frantic messages:
- “I got $7.32. Is this an error?!”
- “My paycheck is DOUBLE?! I’m not reporting this, but FYI.”
- “WHY DID I GET PAID IN BITCOIN??”
- “Is this a test? Are we on Undercover Boss??”
The CFO stormed in. “Fix this. NOW.”
Sharilyne, hyperventilating, checked the system—and saw the notes attached to each deposit:
“Michelle: Payroll MVP, deserves a raise – $10,000 bonus.”
“Chris: Tends to eat co-workers’ lunches, slight pay cut – $20 deducted.”
“Jill: Brings in donuts every Friday, appreciation bonus – extra $100.”
“Meagan from Marketing: Just vibes here, pay reduced to exposure.”
Kerry exhaled. “Oh, thank goodness. It’s a simulation. Nobody actually got paid wrong!”
A pause. Then Sharilyne asked, “Wait… but what if IT actually… sent those payments?”
A single notification popped up: “Bank Transfer: Completed.”
Silence.
And then—”Welp,” sighed Jennifer, grabbing her coat. “It’s been an honor, team.”
This holiday was one of our founder’s favorites and he liked to send out a ridiculous email each year detailing some exotic new client, or tenant of our building, or service we would now be offering. Since I’m not as creative as he was, this will have to do. 
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